Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.