I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
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