@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.