theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
