Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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