how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
