and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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