He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
