I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
