Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
