That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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