There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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