So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize