I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
this hospital has no fireball
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
