The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
