I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
