her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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