I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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