somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
