how hairy? two words: wookie tits
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
