I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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