My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
