At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?