Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?