Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Will you blow on my dice?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
