I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
