So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
