His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
