i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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