Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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