just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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