A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
