I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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