i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
