I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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