Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
