is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
