She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
