he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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