you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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