I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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