Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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