Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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