We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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