please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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