Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
