I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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