you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You are a genius and a whore.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
