So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
