Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You are the jesus of drinking
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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