420 ftw
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
