Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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