Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
