I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
