Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
