Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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