he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
