woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
