I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
