Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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