I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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