Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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