lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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