I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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