i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
