i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
