she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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