i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
