from now on my penis is your penis
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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