I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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